Not all bourbon is created equal, and let’s be real—some bottles deserve a permanent spot on your shelf, while others belong in the depths of regret. That’s why we created this rating scale, a no-BS guide to help you navigate the wild world of whiskey.
How We Rate It
This scale keeps it simple, honest, and actually useful—because no one has time for overcomplicated rating systems that require a PhD in tasting notes. Whether you’re a seasoned bourbon hunter or just getting started, this guide will help you separate the legendary pours from the ones that belong in a well cocktail.
The Rating Scale Breakdown
0 – Drain Pour (Did the angels reject this?)
This isn’t just bad—it’s offensive. If you take another sip, that’s on you. Possibly a crime against whiskey.
1 – Regret in a Bottle
Smells like disappointment, tastes like sadness. You’d rather drink bottom-shelf well whiskey at a dive bar than suffer through this again.
2 – Bad Decisions Were Made
Either in the distillery or by you for buying it. It’s drinkable, technically, but you’re wondering who approved this.
3 – Just… Why?
You don’t hate it enough to throw it out, but you also wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. If gifted, re-gift immediately.
4 – The “Meh” Zone
Nothing to write home about, but at least it won’t hurt you. Bland, forgettable, and probably overpriced.
5 – Fine, I Guess?
Middle-of-the-road. You don’t love it, you don’t hate it. It’s the whiskey equivalent of saying, “It’s fine” when it’s not really fine.
6 – Wouldn’t Kick It Off the Shelf
A decent pour, but it won’t blow your mind. It’s good enough to drink without complaint, but you wouldn’t go out of your way for it.
6.9 – “Nice”
Nice!
7 – Solid, Would Buy Again
Now we’re talking. Good balance, nice complexity, and something you’d happily keep stocked in your bar.
8 – Damn Good Bourbon
A pour that makes you pause and appreciate. Maybe not perfect, but it hits all the right notes and earns a permanent spot in your rotation.
9 – Elite Status
A near-masterpiece. Memorable, layered, and an experience in every sip. You’ll be talking about this one for a long time. Heavily consider secondary pricing to grab a bottle.
10 – Holy Grail Bourbon (Take My Money!)
Perfection in a glass. If you see it, buy it. If you don’t, you’ll regret it. This is what bourbon dreams are made of.
Why Our Rating System Works
We believe that a review should answer the most important question: Is this worth drinking? We cut through the nonsense with a fun, relatable, and brutally honest rating system designed for real bourbon drinkers.
Every review includes nose, palate, finish, and overall impressions, but at the end of the day, we get straight to the point—should you buy this or not?